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-                二零二三年五月十六日
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-    <p>我觉得应该把一部分钱给需要的人，剩下的钱留给家人。 这病是个无底洞，填不完的。</p>
-<p>我为什么能在这种情况下仍然保持工作学习状态？ 或许这是一种麻痹的手段， 但我在梦里找到了答案。<br>我的成长环境给了我一个杀手锏： 绝对理性， 这种理性绝对到前无古人后无来者， 我能在极端的情绪下理性的思考， 但这让我非常痛苦， 因为情绪根本无法释放。<br>这种理性已经是本能的被动了，我无法左右自己的理性，换言之我无法感性的流泪，愤怒的辱骂，只能在生活中装装样子，装给自己看。</p>
-<p>我哭不出来了。</p>
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